My best friend got married this past weekend. A sumptuous, vibrant, kaleidoscopically beautiful affair that combined his South Indian with her Vietnamese Catholic heritage amidst the backdrop of the bright blue sky of the Museum of Latin American Art. Only in Los Angeles is such a thing possible. Well, maybe not only in LA, but that is our hometown, the place where whole communities have signs only in their native languages, where cultures and traditions from all over the planet are smashed together. It is the modern Ellis Island of this country and the results, despite what you might hear about in the news on immigration or see on episodes of the "OC" are usually wonderful, challenging and speak to a bright future for all of us.
As I thought about my friend and his wife-to-be this past week, I had a chance to reflect on our friendship of nearly 12 years and on the true beauty of marriage. As has been so much the case in the past decade, I have received so much more from my best friend than I have perhaps given. Never mind the parties, the laughs, the trips, the conversations, the "events" that occur between ourselves and the myriad people who come and go in the course of a full life.
What is it that makes a person "stick" in our minds and in our hearts? What sets a person apart from all the countless wonderful, beautiful, interesting, sexy, dynamic people we meet in our lives? There are people we've known for a long time who always remain at a distance in our hearts. Likewise, there are people we meet for a very short moment who speak to us for the rest of our lives.
I believe that our closest friends, our cherished loves of our lives, our inspirations show us something special in OURSELVES, they bring out an openness and wonder and childlike love that is difficult to capture with each advancing year. Through our touchstones, we inch just a fraction closer to the people we truly wish to be in life. They bring out that intangible, vanishingly rare feeling in ourselves that is so difficult to describe yet so recognizable and so wonderful.
In the Catholic ceremony, the priest talked about "symbols", about how the ceremony itself is just an event, a movement of people and words. Yet, what makes it so special are the people involved and their FEELINGS toward one another. "What makes a gift a gift?", he asked. "Why is it not just an object?" It is because of the feelings between the giver and the recipient that make it a symbol of a gift. The same is true in marriage. No certificate or validation or holy words can replace the genuine, sincere feelings of love and respect between two people, yet when the movement is combined with the feeling, it is an awesome thing to behold. As I watched Arun and Cindy say their marriage vows, I felt the power of this symbol, this recognition of love and faith among friends and under God. It was both humbling and beautiful.
My parents always told me that I would be lucky to find one true friend in my whole life, someone who spanned not just the years of our lives, but also the emotional and physical vicissitudes of life itself. Someone from whom I could learn something and find my true nature. Arun, you have been and always will be that person for me. I love you and no words will ever describe my true joy at our friendship and at watching you find someone who truly matches you, who brings out the very best in you.
Congratulations to Arun and Cindy. I love you both.
P.S. Now that you're married, I ain't picking you up from the airport anymore...
1 comments:
It was really heartwarming to read that blog. I'm a South Indian too and I understand that marriage of cultures. your words did reflect your depth of friendship. My best wishes to the new couple.
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